Clinical Rotation #2

My second clinical rotation has begun! 

I am doing 6 weeks in a psych.  It is a complete change from my previous rotation in med/surg.  We spent most of the day in orientation, talking over the objectives and expectations we have of us in clinical.  I am back to my overwhelmed state!  We have a group presentation of medications, a term paper which we then give a presentation on, individually, a daily journal, patient care logs (like my previous care plans) and we also have to find a local support group to attend, do a write-up and a presentation in post conference.  This is in addition to being on the unit interacting with patients and prepping for these interactions.  We also have a simulation lab day next week that of course comes with a lot of preparation.  AHHHHHHH!!  Deep breaths :)  I am nervous for this rotation.  I love learning about psychology, but I think it is going to be a whole new experience to interact with psych patients.

I feel completely unorganized and partially not back in school mode yet.  Tomorrow, I don't have to be on campus until 2:50pm and stay until 8:30pm.  I haven't had an evening class since last year!  It will be my first class of pharmacology.  I am so nervous for this class as I know it will be hard, a lot of memorization and hardcore studying.  I am fortunate to have Fridays off this semester, but I foresee them becoming full very quickly with catching up on projects, papers and reading.  This four day weekend coming up I plan to get my butt in gear and get organized.  There are so many projects due soon I need to get prepared.  I am in a group of 8 students, for a different class, and we signed up to give our presentation first.  It will be stressful in the beginning, but then it is out of the way :)  That's what I am telling myself anyway. 

My Erin had her first day of students today and I can tell she is going to be busy soon too!  We can be study buddies ;)  I often ask her if she wants to switch work; which she never does.  Then again, I don't want to do lesson plans or teach little kids...no way! haha

I am off to do a little research to find a group therapy meeting I can attend.  Better to get all I can done sooner than later (said the worlds #1 procrastinator!)

Back At It

Whoa...I was totally MIA for a while!  I think since my last post I have had a mild mental breakdown, a birthday, passed my course and clinical rotation AND had a 2 week break!!  I've been busy!

My last week of class and clinical was high stress.  My clinical rotation ended well; I had some wonderful patients and a great review from my instructor.  We had good nurses (one of which I strive to be one day) who took time with us and were great teachers.  My lecture portion of school was insanity.  I had an exam the last week and my cumulative final on the following Monday and then freedom.  It seems so long ago now!  I spent ALL weekend before the final sitting on my butt at the table studying.  My eyes were so sore, I had an insane headache and my shoulders reached an all time high due to my constant stress.  My back was also killing me from being hunched over my laptop...seriously, could I complain anymore! (I am sure I could).  Somehow, I was able to pass my class.  I was so worried I was going to fail...which is by far my biggest fear in this whole journey.  Failure.

After my final on the 12th, I met a few classmates at a bar to have a celebratory beer.  It was fun and after I received my grade (via the app I purchased on my way home that day!) I was shocked I passed and did pretty well AND finally able to relax a bit.  Wow, I was utterly exhausted.  I was physically, mentally and emotionally drained.  I am pretty sure those 6 weeks were some of, if not the most, stressful I have had in my 32 years!!  I am SO glad it is done!!  Summer session came to an end and now to gear up for the fall.  Fall, they tell us, is a lot less intense.  We follow a traditional college semester.  15 weeks instead of six.  I will have psych and advanced med/surge rotations for clinical this semester.  Psych is first.  We also have a basic nursing course, pharmacology, psychology and advanced medical/surgical courses to keep up with.  My week will consist of Monday and Wednesday in a hospital for clinical from 7am-1pm.  Tuesday is from 1pm-5:30pm and Thursday is from 1pm-8:30pm.  Fridays...wait for it...I am OFF!  I am sure this will be dedicated to many hours of reading and studying, but at least I can sit in my PJs in the comfort of my own house!!  As I have started reading over some of what is in store for me this semester, my Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays are sure to fill up quick.  I also need to be organized to make the most of my two late start days.  The gym and I need to get reacquainted and fast!  All this sitting is no good and my body is paying the price.  If my "Freshman Year" was only a week long, can I say I have gained the dreaded "Freshman 15"???

My break was in one word WONDERFUL!!  Erin and I had some quality time together.  Our little mini getaway was perfect.  I was able to focus back on her and our world for a little bit.  Our world needed some attention!  Erin, thankfully, had the same break I did.  Where did our summer go??  She has to start back at school tomorrow too...blah!  BUT, our favorite season is coming up, so that is a plus.  This break was short and packed full, but it was the mental break I needed.  We spent a week on the beach.  One thing I noticed quickly was how easy it was for me to jump right back into non-school mode.  I was able to relax and go about doing anything and everything besides school and studying!!  I was slightly bummed we didn't have a lot of time just sitting at home, but being away from home forced me to ignore house work and my mental "to-do list" and just relax and focus on my Erin.  We had a getaway for just the two of us and then a week with her family.  Eating in restaurants, snacking on the beach, cooking, lounging around, watching TV and movies was just what we needed!  Being surrounded by babies and friends and family was wonderful!!

I am repeating myself again, but I just need to give my wife her well deserved praise.  Erin is simply amazing and oh so great to me!  She is my rock through this experience.  During my stress I am not a pleasure to be around.  I take out my frustrations in my mood and sadly, Erin gets the brunt of my stress.  I remind her all the time that I love her and that my bad mood has nothing to do with her...I hope she hears me and knows I couldn't do this without her constant love and support.  She takes care of me so well and is always happy to do so.  She never complains and tries everything in her power to make this journey easy for both of us.  I love you my Erin!!


Tomorrow morning I will be back at school...this time with all the undergrads as well.  I am leaving a bit early to make sure I have a place to park and hopefully remain calm as I navigate through those crazy kids!


Thanks for all your continued support and for sticking with my lazy blogging :)

Here is to the start of a smooth fall semester!!  Only 337 days until graduation!!

Last Week Before Break

One week from now I will be enjoying the freedom from school for a whole 14 long, fun-filled days!!  It will be oh so wonderful!  Maybe the BEST part will be some quality time with my Erin :)  I sure have missed spending time with her.  I am lucky to see her everyday, from afar, as I type away at the computer, read, review power point slides, research medications and study for exams....BUT I am looking forward to actually hanging out with her!!!  First on our agenda is a little getaway for three whole days!!  Then, a few days at home followed by a week at the beach with her family!!  The poor people at the beach are not prepared for my paleness...it's a whole new level of pale! Hopefully I can get some sun and not burn...SPF 50 reapplied every hour, here I come!

This week we have no new lectures...thank goodness, my brain is already beyond full.  Today we had exam #4.  It was so wonderful getting to leave right after.  TOmorrow we have our exam review and then a study group to prepare for our cumulative final on Monday.  WEdnesday and Thursday are my last two days in the hospital for this first clinical rotation!  I am excited about this!  I have enjoyed my time on this unit and have met some really incredible nurses.  My patients this past week were aonderful as well.  This expereince in clinical, though terrifying and oerwhleming, has only reaffirmed why I am going to school...I want to be a nurse!  I want to be a great nurse!  Being in the hospital is about 1000% better than sitting in a lecture hall talking about being in a hospital.  Don't get me wrong, I still feel so inadequate and anxious being in the hospital, but having a better idea of what it means to be a nurse has been so beyond helpful.  Learning about diseases and conditions in lecture and then having a patient with these same diseases really helps to learn.  "Putting it into practice" I believe is what we are doing.

Our program director told us to take a note of how we felt the night before our first day at clinical.  I did this in my blog...now we have our last two days, just a few weeks later, and my perspective is quite different.  Again, I still feel overwhelmed and most times feel like I have no idea what I am doing!  BUT, I also have confidence in taking vital signs, and doing a head to toe assessment.  I have had the experience of changing wound dressings, having a patient in end stage dementia who wasn't always oriented to place and time, elderly patients, middle aged patients and a whole slew of other experiences that I don't need to ramble on about.  I have done more than I thought I could and know this is only the beginning.  I cannot wait for the spring when we do our pediactric and OB rotations...I will be in my element!!  One more semester to get through...which will be psych and advanced med/surge.  And I am nervous again!!

Our last day of class for this course is spent in our lab at school.  I, of course, have a whole list of questions that have to be answered and typed up before Friday to turn in.  We will have a two and a half hour simulation involving blood products, and learning how to take care of patients with stomas (ie a colostomy; where the intestine is emptied through the abdomen into a bag).  Following our lab, we have one-on-one meetings with our clinical instructor where she will give us our final evaluation.  Hopefully these go well!! 

5 days and counting :)

August

How is it August already!?  Where did my summer go??  Oh yeah, it has been spent inside the nursing school, inside the hospital and inside my house...I am so beyond pale!  I mean even more than I normally am!  Scary!

I am counting down the days until I have a BREAK!!  Yesterday, I was in a total funk.  I was thinking I wasn't going to be able to make it through the day, let alone the rest of this course.  I couldn't get my mind off of the fact that I want my break to start NOW.  I realized I was also utterly exhausted, so I didn't do much school work, and went to bed early.  I was in a much better mood today, so that is a plus.  I still cannot wait for a break...7 more days until freedom!!!  I am physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.  Must. Keep. Going.

Tomorrow we have our final self-evaluation due in clinical.  We still have two days in the hospital next week, but we had to write out our strengths and weaknesses by tomorrow.  Next Friday, we have a day in our lab at school with a whole agenda, including, of course, a long write-up to do before to turn in.  After our lab time, we will all meet individually with our instructor to hear her critique of us.  We have had care plans, which mine on average have been about 18 pages, an OR write-up, post conference teaching, random articles to research and present, medications to learn and explain to our class as well as countless other tasks our instructor has thrown at us during our time on the floor to explain to our classmates in our after meeting time.  It has been NONSTOP learning and my brain is roughly at full capacity!!!  One of the most beautiful things I have heard was my instructor giving me back my last care plan (warning: bragging moment) and telling me I do not have to do the final "optional" care plan for next week.  I have learned and demonstrated the ability to apply my knowledge and to analyze patient care and diagnoses.  WOO HOO!  I will use those hours I now have to study for the last exam and final exam. 


I still cannot believe I am in an accelerated nursing program...I still am so nervous I won't be able to keep up, which scares me to know end.  I have to think positive, as my Erin keeps reminding me.  I look forward to the fall schedule, Fridays off!!  I have heard from students who have gone through the program, after this insane summer, the fall feels like slow motion, we may actually be bored.  Good thing I am surrounded by friends who have babies...I will be snuggling babies and having toddler play dates to my hearts content!!  I will also be able to help Erin maintain our home...lately I have my work area all strewn about and it's beginning to take over!!

Oh yeah, I was able to help pass out programs at the current students graduation the other night.  I also stayed to watch the graduation.  I cannot wait until next year for my graduation!!  It was a pretty short but well put together ceremony.  The program director gave a wonderful speech, surely will make me cry next year as I sit as a graduating nursing student.

I am realizing my thoughts are all over the place, so this is probably a good place to stop.  My eyes can barely stay open...off I go to hopefully get a few solid hours of sleep before my 4:30am alarm starts yelling at me!

Breathe In, Breathe Out.

Overwhelmed seems to be the theme lately.  I'm sure that will be a reoccurring theme for the duration of this program!!

I spent most of my weekend sitting at the kitchen table studying.  I tried to cram in all the information I could on the GI tract, neurological disorders and the pulmonary system.  My brain is beyond capacity, but we still have three more units to cover!  Thankfully, this is our last week of lecture.  We have another exam next Monday then just our cumulative final on the following Monday.  I am not looking that far ahead yet!  I am a little discouraged (or in the midst of a complete meltdown...sorry Erin!) about my exam grade today.  I felt okay when I left the exam, no more or less confident then the previous two.  I passed the exam, but I am disappointed in my grade.  Just need to shrug it off and know I need to do more for the next exam. 

We are having a guest speaker tomorrow.  Our unit we are focusing on is oncology.  Our guest is a faculty member as well as a 10 year cancer survivor (maybe even still battling cancer).  I am looking forward to it!  Tomorrow is also the class of 2013 graduation, which I have volunteered to help out.  I am excited to help, but also am dreading the long day I have ahead of me.  It will be great to see what I have to look forward to (exactly one year from today!!).  My expected graduation date, if I make it when I make it (that was for you Erin), is July 29, 2014.  Seems so so far away, but I know it will go fast.  The weeks go by fast, but the days (in lecture mostly) drag on and on.

Tomorrow is also my little sister's birthday!  Unfortunately, I can't go celebrate with her (blame school yet again for ruining my social life!).  We have to plan a date on my break to take her out to celebrate :)  Aside from my constant studying this weekend, we had a great brunch with my brother and sister Sunday morning.  It was nice catching up with both of them.  They were gracious enough to ask about school and let me ramble on and on and on and on about it!  So great those siblings of mine are!  My brother put my fears in perfect context; now that I have a much clearer understanding of what it means to be a nurse, what it entails and what my responsibilities will include, it is normal to feel so overwhelmed and so unprepared.  BUT, I am still in the beginning of this whole process.  I am sure I have thought this, but hearing it again, from someone else, gave me a sense of calm.  Then again, it could have been the food coma I was slipping into!!

Another exciting aspect of my weekend was visiting with my fave ladies who are about to have two new little ladies in their world.  Oh how I can't wait to have baby snuggles (x2) to help calm my school stress!!

Maybe the MOST exciting part of my weekend was my wonderful wife starting the process of changing her name.  How exciting that soon we will have the same last name!!  It seems like a small milestone, but it is HUGE for us!  I feel so honored and proud that she is willing and wanting to take my last name.  My Erin is pretty special :)

Off I go, my care plan is calling my name.

Yep.

I don't know about the straight A's part, but the rest pretty much sums it up.

2 weeks and 2 days until a 2 week BREAK!!

2 months down!

July 20...I have been in nursing school for two whole months!  That means only 12 more to go!  I get to have a preview of what my graduation will look like as I am helping to pass out programs at the upcoming graduation for the class of 2013.  SO envious of them, but they have all put in the 14 months of hard work.  I just can't wait for it to be my turn!!  I am trying to enjoy every moment of this uphill, challenging, hard, exhausting experience of learning as I can.  I know all too soon I will wish I was still in school with no REAL responsibility...sigh.

This past week may have been my hardest yet (I sound like a broken record).  I had a full out melt down I blame on pure exhaustion and stress.  My poor Erin is putting up with so much.  She is so supportive and does everything in her power to help make this whole process easier on me.  I try to  remind myself how hard this is on her too.  I over hear her talking to her family/friends, and I hear her say, "She's busy but we do get to eat dinner together every night" or "I can't wait to have my wife back."  I may be here at home sitting at the table, but I am missing from her world.  She is so respectful of my time, she lets me study and do my work (sometimes giving me an occasional back rub as my shoulders are almost in my ears these days from stress and tension).  When we see each other, we catch each other up on our day, eat a quick dinner and then we go our separate ways.  It's a challenge for sure, but it will be so worth it in the end...right?!?!  I have to keep my eye on the prize, the light at the end of the tunnel!

So, school isn't all bad.  Sure, it is hard work, a lot of time, long hours of lecture, long hours sitting on my butt and long hours working in the hospital on my feet!  I am making friends and learning more than I ever imagined!  I sure hope this knowledge stays in my head!!  The workload for this course and clinical is overwhelming.  Care plans, drug cards, reading, practice tests...my head hurts!

We had two long days of lecture, followed by three long days at the hospital.  I got a chance to observe in the OR on Wednesday.  I observed a patient getting the top lobe of the right lung removed.  I saw the lobe of the lung up close once it was removed.  It was incredible!  I didn't get a chance to get near the patient, but they had TV screens that the surgeons use that I could watch to get an up close look inside the patient!!  It was surreal; like I was watching Discovery Health, but then I would glance over and see the surgeon's hands inside the patient about 6 feet in front of me!!  It was very interesting and so glad I had the opportunity.  I am not convinced I would want to become an OR nurse, but I have a whole new respect for surgery!  I also hope I never have to have surgery!!  It was pretty impressive to watch how everyone works together in the OR.  The surgical tech was beyond impressive.  She moved so quickly, routinely and knew what the surgeon needed sometimes before he even asked for something.  All in all, it was a great learning experience.
The next two days I spent on the floor with the same patient.  I was also allowed to administer medications again!  I gave IV antibiotics, insulin and some pills; it was pretty thrilling.  I also got a chance to change my first wound dressing (which also means I got a look at my first bed sore, wow).  I am slowly gaining a little more confidence.  I feel there is order and purpose to my time on the floor.  I have made a difference, even if that was a small difference, my presence at the hospital has made an impact and that is such a wonderful feeling.  It is why I want to be a nurse!  Of course, the rest of the time (99% to be exact) I feel completely useless, overwhelmed, scared and incompetent! 

I don't remember if I have mentioned this, but it might be my most favorite thing about the hospital.  Every time a baby is born, a little lullaby is played throughout the hospital.  It brings a smile to my face without fail!  I can't wait for the spring when we get to do our OB and pediatric clinicals!!!!

I am halfway through this course; three more weeks to go, including 4 exams, 2 or 3 more care plans,  6 more days of lecture and 5 more days in the hospital.   I better get back to studying :)