July 20...I have been in nursing school for two whole months! That means only 12 more to go! I get to have a preview of what my graduation will look like as I am helping to pass out programs at the upcoming graduation for the class of 2013. SO envious of them, but they have all put in the 14 months of hard work. I just can't wait for it to be my turn!! I am trying to enjoy every moment of this uphill, challenging, hard, exhausting experience of learning as I can. I know all too soon I will wish I was still in school with no REAL responsibility...sigh.
This past week may have been my hardest yet (I sound like a broken record). I had a full out melt down I blame on pure exhaustion and stress. My poor Erin is putting up with so much. She is so supportive and does everything in her power to help make this whole process easier on me. I try to remind myself how hard this is on her too. I over hear her talking to her family/friends, and I hear her say, "She's busy but we do get to eat dinner together every night" or "I can't wait to have my wife back." I may be here at home sitting at the table, but I am missing from her world. She is so respectful of my time, she lets me study and do my work (sometimes giving me an occasional back rub as my shoulders are almost in my ears these days from stress and tension). When we see each other, we catch each other up on our day, eat a quick dinner and then we go our separate ways. It's a challenge for sure, but it will be so worth it in the end...right?!?! I have to keep my eye on the prize, the light at the end of the tunnel!
So, school isn't all bad. Sure, it is hard work, a lot of time, long hours of lecture, long hours sitting on my butt and long hours working in the hospital on my feet! I am making friends and learning more than I ever imagined! I sure hope this knowledge stays in my head!! The workload for this course and clinical is overwhelming. Care plans, drug cards, reading, practice tests...my head hurts!
We had two long days of lecture, followed by three long days at the hospital. I got a chance to observe in the OR on Wednesday. I observed a patient getting the top lobe of the right lung removed. I saw the lobe of the lung up close once it was removed. It was incredible! I didn't get a chance to get near the patient, but they had TV screens that the surgeons use that I could watch to get an up close look inside the patient!! It was surreal; like I was watching Discovery Health, but then I would glance over and see the surgeon's hands inside the patient about 6 feet in front of me!! It was very interesting and so glad I had the opportunity. I am not convinced I would want to become an OR nurse, but I have a whole new respect for surgery! I also hope I never have to have surgery!! It was pretty impressive to watch how everyone works together in the OR. The surgical tech was beyond impressive. She moved so quickly, routinely and knew what the surgeon needed sometimes before he even asked for something. All in all, it was a great learning experience.
The next two days I spent on the floor with the same patient. I was also allowed to administer medications again! I gave IV antibiotics, insulin and some pills; it was pretty thrilling. I also got a chance to change my first wound dressing (which also means I got a look at my first bed sore, wow). I am slowly gaining a little more confidence. I feel there is order and purpose to my time on the floor. I have made a difference, even if that was a small difference, my presence at the hospital has made an impact and that is such a wonderful feeling. It is why I want to be a nurse! Of course, the rest of the time (99% to be exact) I feel completely useless, overwhelmed, scared and incompetent!
I don't remember if I have mentioned this, but it might be my most favorite thing about the hospital. Every time a baby is born, a little lullaby is played throughout the hospital. It brings a smile to my face without fail! I can't wait for the spring when we get to do our OB and pediatric clinicals!!!!
I am halfway through this course; three more weeks to go, including 4 exams, 2 or 3 more care plans, 6 more days of lecture and 5 more days in the hospital. I better get back to studying :)
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