Graduation Tomorrow

Tomorrow is graduation!  How crazy is that!?  It still really doesn't feel real.  Maybe part of me is not letting myself fully comprehend that I am at the end because I do not yet have my final grade.  Fingers crossed I did actually pass this last semester!!

This weekend has been fun and busy.  My parents are in town, my mom is staying with Erin and me and my dad is down the street with my brother and soon to be sister-in-law.  Tomorrow, my dad is going to help me replace brake lights in my car and my mom and I are going to get a mani/pedi.  I am excited!  Today, I made my mom go with me to a few stores to find shoes to wear tomorrow.  I figured flip flops were not appropriate foot wear with my dress/graduation.  I am beyond picky about shoes, so we went all over!  Good thing my mom has so much patience and was willing to go store to store (and buy my shoes for me!)

I am feeling that nervous excitement.  I will be glad to see all my school friends tomorrow.  It will also be fun to see everyone all dressed up and to meet their families!  All the people that were behind the scenes as our #1 supporters :)  They all deserve this graduation celebration as much as all of us graduates!

Off to bed to try and get some good sleep.  My neck has started hurting again.  I have a feeling if it is from stress, I am screwed because I am not sure when I will be low stress again.  (NCLEX, applications, interviews, and a job...oh my!)

Countdown continues...

We are down to only hours people!  No more days left!!!!!!

Nursing School...Ya Done!

Nursing school is OVER!!!  

I finished my last class on Thursday evening.  Well, "class" was just standing around, having a few snacks and playing with my classmate's adorable 10 month old little baby.  The professor was causing me to panic with all this tips for jobs, interviews, using Linked In, and further education.  He more or less tells you like it is and sometimes I take that as way too overwhelming.  I would like someone to just tell me everything will be alright and fall into place.  That is what my Erin is for ;)

Anyways, I am done with classes and exams and projects and papers and care plans and clinical and my uniform and early morning alarms and packing my lunch...for now.  This weekend is all about relaxing and zero work on school stuff of studying.  My parents are flying in this evening and I am cooking three Indian dishes to have for dinner.  It is so great to be able to cook without school work looming over my head.  I will save that for next week.  This weekend is going to be hanging out with my family and celebrating my dad's 60th birthday and my upcoming sister's 29th birthday.  Tuesday is graduation (so I will steal the focus back to ME!) I plan to go with my mom to get our nails done at a place that does a mani/pedi for only $25 on Tuesdays...perfect!  After graduation on Tuesday, we will all go out to dinner, which I am really looking forward to.  We are trying a new restaurant by my school.  After dinner we will come home and I will be back at school bright and early and 8am (or is it 9am?) for the first day of a three day ATI test review.  This is all prep for the dreaded NCLEX.  Sigh.  At least it's only three days.  i hope to get a lot out of it.  After that review, I will give myself the weekend, then start my scheduled days of working out and devoting time to go through practice questions.  They recommend we do 3,000-5,000 questions before we sit for NCLEX.  Hooray!  What a great way to spend the rest of my summer!!  I will also have to start the scary process of applying to jobs.  Ahhhhhhhh!  Now I am actually going to have to be a nurse!  That terrifies me beyond belief.

I am not yet believing that I am actually done with school.  Probably because 1) I haven't gotten my final grades yet (so hopefully I passed).  2) I have a lot of work ahead of me with studying and applying for jobs. 3) it just doesn't seem real that I actually completed this 14 month nursing program!  It's bittersweet as I know I will miss seeing all my friends on a regular basis.   A few of my closest friends and I have already begun making plans to see each other :)  That makes me feel better.

Yesterday, on my first official day off from everything, Erin and I made the drive out near the Poconos to visit some of our friends.  We sat pool side sipping strawberry daiquiris and took a couple dips in the pool.  I got some really funky burn lines which I am hoping fade before graduation.  Then we headed to our friend's new hair salon where I got many inches chopped off my hair.  I LOVE it!  My hair had gotten ridiculously long.  After the salon, we went out to a delicious Italian dinner, which was lots of fun.  On our drive home, Erin and I almost hit a deer.  It was so scary, but thankfully we didn't hit the bastard.  He ran right out in front of us but luckily kept running.  Poor Erin screamed and was shaking bad after, but she held it together and got us home safe!  Whew!

Ok, must get back to work cooking.  I AM DONE WITH NURSING SCHOOL!  Maybe if I keep saying it I will start to believe it!

One More Day

Tomorrow is my last day of nursing school.  I am going to just take a moment to let that sink in...

  

Nope, it still doesn't seem real!  Picture #2 is totally me...what is the lowest grade I can get on this exam tomorrow and STILL pass.  hahahaha You think I'm kidding!

Today, I have done my best at trying to keep myself busy with anything and everything BUT studying.  I briefly looked over some slides this am, but then I washed the sheets in the spare room, washed some extra pillows, went food shopping, cut up a huge watermelon, checked Facebook, played candy crush, ate lunch, had some iced coffee, took the dog out, organized my desk, I mean dining room table, and then decided to write this blog post!  I have been busy!  Oh, I also took about a 10 minute cat nap.  Time to buckle down and actually get some knowledge in my head for MY LAST NURSING SCHOOL EXAM!!!!

Our amazing trends professor switched our schedule so we have our class a whole two hours earlier in the afternoon, right after our first class (with said exam).  Then we have until 5pm to have our ethics class.  We are just meeting to have a party.  I plan to bake some cookies tonight to share with my class.  A group of us are also going to grab a drink between classes which should be a lot of fun!

Yesterday we had our big poster presentations.  They went fine, a lot less intense than I was expecting.  Then we had our trends class and we were done for the day!  Erin and I went out to a new place  (new to us) for dinner, which was nice.  I am realizing AGAIN how simply amazing my Erin is and has been through this whole school process.  I have been a douche at times, and Erin just puts up with me and keeps loving and supporting me.  She is so wonderful.  She may actually be more excited than me about the end of this program!  Right Erin?!

After school I went to look for a graduation dress.  The store I was in had no ac (I think I heard someone say it was broken) so I didn't last all that long.  I bought two dresses and need to get Erin's opinion.  Then I will either wear one of those, or go to one more store to find a dress and some shoes!

Alright, the time has come to study for this last exam.  I feel like I should be more excited...maybe it will kick in after the exam tomorrow.

T-6 days until graduation!  Oh, and I finally picked a place for dinner...and made a reservation.  I can't wait!!

My Last Week!

I am getting so close to being DONE!!  It's surreal and exciting and terrifying and stressful and bittersweet.

Today, I went to campus for what I thought would be maybe an hour or so to put together our poster for the big presentation tomorrow.  Well, four hours later, it was done!  Whew!  I guess I underestimated just a tad.  I should have realized how NOTHING for this project was easy or quick, so why would putting it all together be any different?!  Oh well, it's done and now we just have to present it tomorrow.  I believe all the posters will be on display and faculty and our peers will come around to evaluate and ask us questions.  We also have to dress up.  Awesome.  I love dressing up!  Especially since all my pants are super snug due to my lack of exercise and eating late and night and stress...that's a whole other blog post I may never write ;)

I think it is somewhat hitting me that the end is near.  I am 100000000% excited to be finishing this program (assuming I pass my exam on Thursday! oh and get a passing grade on the crap I turned in for an ethics paper)  I am feeling the stress of these last couple days of class/assignments/exam.  I am also terrified of the next step...applying for jobs, rejection, interviews and actually being a nurse.  I feel like I have been out of practice (aka the hospital actually taking care of patients) for too long!  The next time I am in a hospital will be for a job!  That is beyond terrifying!  The fear of failure rears its ugly head again.  I also have to just give in to the fact that I will be a nervous/anxious mess for years to come!  I hate always feeling this nervous, but I guess if I wasn't nervous, that would be worse?  Ok, moving on, I am stressing myself out more!

I am working on this CITI training and IRB training for this research project I am going to be apart of.  It is taking forever!  That is also stressing me out (shocker), I feel like i should have this training all done by now!  One thing at a time and just breathe.

One week to go!!!!!!

So Close to the End

So, somehow I survived last week.  I really didn't think I would actually finish that ethics paper.  Side note; it was hands down the worst paper I have ever written.  I am scared now I will get an email from my professor telling me it was total crap and I will have to rewrite it!  Fingers crossed that doesn't happen.

So, all I have left to do next week is meet with the Montana group to assemble our poster.  Tuesday we have poster presentations all morning.  Apparently we have to evaluate our peers and the professors will come to each poster and throw questions at us.  Should be a hoot!  Then I have my trends class where I will listen to more student presentations.  Wednesday...I have NOTHING!  Well, just studying for my last exam in this program.  This brings me to Thursday, last exam and poster presentation review followed by trends and then our last ethics class.  We may try to sneak away between classes to grab a beer!  Our ethics professor said we can have a party, he just HAS to have class meet.  I assume there will be zero teaching going on, which is fine by me!  I am going to try and bake something to share with the class :)

This weekend has been great do far!  Erin and I have the whole three days off together.  Last night we went to a movie under the stars put on by our neighborhood ( and had delicious grilled cheeses from a food truck).  We saw Moonstruck.  It was fun!  We hope to make this more of a weekly tradition for the rest of the summer.  Next time, we will pack a picnic dinner!  Today, we went to our fave restaurant in Philly, El Vez with some friends.  Now we are in a food coma and it feels amazing.  Tomorrow, we will head to Erin's niece's house for a BBQ with the family.  Should be fun and great weather!

I cannot believe how close I am to the end.  I need to keep focused and make sure I finish strong.  I can't wait until my family is here next weekend, we have so much to celebrate!!  Birthdays and graduation :)

Omg Two Weeks

Only two weeks left and I graduate!!!

Good Luck or Bad Luck?

This morning, I was heading to my car pool buddies house around 7:20am.  I walked out to my car, thinking to myself, this is the last Monday of clinical FOREVER!  It had rained last night or early this morning.  May car was full of beads of water (thanks to the wax job a couple weekends ago).  I was careful to not get my uniform or bag wet.  As I was unlocking my door, a ladybug landed on my car.  I thought to myself, that has to be good luck...today is going to be a great day!

I got to my friend's house, she hopped in and off we drove to the hospital.  As I was getting on the expressway, a low flying bird hit the top of my windshield and scared the crap out of us.  It was sad and we assumed the bird probably didn't survive the hit.  I didn't see where the bird went after it hit us (or I hit it).  That has to be bad luck, right??

Today wasn't bad.  My clinical went as expected and now I am facing panic as I still do not have my ethics paper done, actually barely even started.  I'm going to join Erin for our pasta dinner and then get to work!

Oh, today was the second day I took advantage of Dunkin' Donuts 99 cent lattes from 2:00-6:00pm!  Hopefully it will keep me energized for the many, many hours of writing I have ahead of me!

Two weeks from tomorrow is GRADUATION!!!!!!

So Over It

Today, I want to quit.  I want to turn off my computer, maybe throw it across the room, put all my nursing books and supplies out of sight, and run, far far away.  Since I can't do that, I will use this blog to complain about EVERYTHING!  I apologize in advance.

I have been in such a bad mood these last few weeks (Erin may beg to differ and say it has been more like the past 13.5 months of this program, maybe even the past few years during my pre reqs).  I am teetering on the edge of losing my mind and what little sanity I have left.  I have to get this ethics paper written with ZERO motivation!

A look back at this week.  We found out our Trends presentation is this Tuesday (2 days before my big ethics paper is due...awesome).  At least we did not have to present last Thursday (with only 2 days to prepare!)  We also had three graduates, from this program last year, come to our class for a Q & A session.  It was great (read: overwhelming, terrifying).  I feel even more under-prepared for NCLEX, for interviewing and for actually being a nurse.  I would like to think my negative attitude and insane amount of stress is causing my perspective to be a little off.  Either way, I am TERRIFIED!  Literally, right before the Q & A sesh started, I asked my friend if she plans to do the Kaplan review for NCLEX.  This review is offered at our school the week after graduation AND the ATI review we are all taking because we all paid for the program in our tuition.  We both agreed, based on the ATI predictor of our scores, we would pass on Kaplan.  Kaplan also costs about $380 (maybe more maybe less).  Well, all three graduates raved about how wonderful  was!  Now I don't know what to do!!  Erin suggested I talk to my advisor and get her perspective.  I will do that in all my free time.  I think after this paper and presentation, I will have a bit more time.  I will add that to my ever growing to-do list.

In other news, I still need to pick a place to go out to dinner after graduation!

So, I have 16 days and some odd hours until graduation.  This will include two more clinical days, four days of lecture, an exam and two presentations.  By the end of this weekend, I want to have all my clinical papers/assignments done (only one left to finish at this point!), my part of the group presentation done for Tuesday's class.  My biggest goal is to have my ethics paper DONE before Monday.  It is due Thursday, but I need to give myself an earlier deadline.  I am also going to a Phillies game tomorrow with Erin's family.  I am missing a birthday party for a family I used to baby-sit for today, and yet another family get together with Erin's fam.  Did I mention I want to quit?!?!?!

My parents will be here in two short weeks!  My brain is going a million miles a minute.  Should I go make more coffee??  haha

Ok, time to stop procrastinating with this blog post and get my butt back to work on school work.  Go!

3 Weeks To Go!

Three short (or long) weeks from now I will be surrounded by my family, having dinner to celebrate graduating from this insane program!  I CANNOT wait!!

Today, we had exam two...I think it may have gone slightly better than exam one.  Well, I sure hope it did!  My C is haunting me and I have to do better to keep my grade up.  I was hoping to get an A in this course to improve my overall GPA, but not sure I can still pull that off.  We do have yet another assignment to finish this week and the huge poster presentation which I feel confident we will get an A on, so hopefully that is enough.

We were assigned for next Tuesday for our Trends presentation.  The six of us met for a little over an hour today to get a jump on it.  I think our presentation, on the Image of Nursing, should be fun.  We are tackling the stereotypes of nurses (sexy, mean, doctor's maid, angel of mercy to name a few) and each group member will portray a stereotype (I got angel) as the start of the presentation.  We will then go through some facts and ways we all as future nurses can stomp out the stereotypes and end with some fun YouTube videos.  We think it will be informative and entertaining.  Who really wants to sit through yet another power point presentation??  I sure don't!

This week I have to tackle my ethics paper.  I have to find a case to show both sides of the ethical argument.  We also have to finish up our population assessment project.  And I am overwhelmed again.

I heard that the new class of nursing students start their first clinical tomorrow.  They are a week later into their program than we were.  I took a minute with my friend today, as we were walking through the lobby, to take in the fact that we are at the other end of the program and so unbelievably thankful we are to not be back at the start, the night before our first clinical.  I just want to be done!!!

Ok, back to the grind for a bit before calling it a night a tad earlier this evening.

Today Sucked

Today has sucked.  I really can't think of any other way to say it.  I am so over school.  I want to quit.  I want to walk away and not look back.  I do not want to sit in front of this laptop for another second.  I would actually like to throw said laptop and watch it smash into many pieces.  I want to punch something.  I do not want to research for my ethics paper.  I do not want to research for my trends presentation.  I do not want to research for my Montana project.  I do not want to study for my exam on Tuesday.  I do not want to set my alarm to get up early for clinical tomorrow.

 This sums up today.  My negative attitude had gotten me nowhere.  Erin went to visit her family today.  I wanted to go, maybe do a little shopping, sit by the pool and have dinner.  Of course I had a pity party here by myself.  Jax is here, but he is also moping because his favorite momma is gone for the day.  I shut the curtains to pretend it's not beautiful and sunny outside.  I just can't shake this negative attitude.

Erin and I went for a long bike ride yesterday.  It was hard, but felt good.  I am super sore today.  I am also going to make my negative butt go for a run later today.  Now that I wrote that here, I am hoping it makes me actually go for a run.  I need to try to get this bad attitude out!!

If only I could use all this negative energy for good, I would probably have all my work done.  22 more days until graduation.  That translates to only 10 more days of school and clinical.  Only four more days in clinical and six more days of lecture.  This means major freak out and overwhelmed Katie at the thought of two more exams, an ethics paper, a trends presentation, a clinical write-up and the huge population assessment poster project in that time frame.  Deep breaths.  I know this will all be over soon.  Just like a race, there is always a finish line.  All I can focus on at this point in time is the entire journey to get to that finish line.  All the work I have to do and how I just want to quit!!!!

Off to work, or run or to just stare blankly at the wall!