Disconnected

What a week this has been.  Even though I am still riding the high from my pharm grade, this week was pretty stressful.  It had many ups and downs (sadly more downs) but it's over!  One huge up was when our pharm professor told us last night our final quiz we are not taking and he is just giving us the 20 points.  So it's as if we all got 100% on the final quiz!  We gave him a round of applause :)  It was great!

So, this week was the first week back from a mini break for Thanksgiving.  I actually had something to do all five days this week (this was not a bad thing, just something I am realizing as I type this).  Monday bright and early we had our lab day...which I think I already posted about.  In a nutshell, it's always the same.  We "work on our skills" and I translate that to let's go get put in a scenario with a fake patient (sometimes real people/actors, most times a mannequin) and feel completely useless, inadequate and stressed.  This lab day met all my expectations.  Thankfully we were only in lab for a couple hours.  The rest of the day I spent working on my resume and my big final care plan.  That night, I set my alarm and went to bed.  I heard Erin get up and go to work at 6:15am.  I am ALWAYS an early riser and typically stay awake after Erin leaves.  I had my alarm set for 7am so I could get up, relax a bit, eat breakfast and make it to campus by 10:30 to hear some speakers before the job fair began.  Well, I rolled over and felt a little too rested.  Yeah, it was 9:30!  I quickly grabbed my phone, which was plugged in on my nightstand, thinking how did I miss my alarm!?  Well, my phone was off and wouldn't turn on.  I jumped up, grabbed my computer and tried to get my phone on via iTunes.  I quickly showered and got ready to head to school.  I was attending a job fair, so I had to be a tad fancy.  Blah.  I got my phone on for about 30 seconds and it said it was Wednesday Dec. 31 at 7:02pm.  Did I warp to the future??  I was wishing at that moment I would have!  Finals would be done!!  My phone quickly shut off and then only when it was plugged in would flash the apple icon and shut off again.  This was not looking good.  So, in my frazzled state, I get to school and meet up with my friend to go through the different hospital recruiters and try to sell myself.  I was asked for my resume by a few different hospitals and asked some good (in my opinion) questions for someone who is not quite halfway through this program.  It was overwhelming and scary and kind of exciting.  We were told by a few different hospitals that because of the timing and length of our program, we are not eligible to work as a nurse extern.  That is somewhat disappointing, but it is what it is.  These positions are geared for traditional nursing students that are in a four year program.  So a hospital will train them (typically the summer before their senior year) and then have them for a year to work as an extern.  The great thing about this is you already have your foot in the door and typically get hired as an RN once you graduate and pass your boards.  Just another challenge for us as students in an accelerated program.  The overall consensus was that hospitals are hiring graduate nurses, so I just need to perfect my resume, do my research when I apply, brush up on my non-existent interview skills and hope for the best!!
      After the job fair, we had a bit of time to kill before our class.  My friend gave me this great little gift.  It's a name badge holder with my name on it.  It was so sweet and made my day (since so far my day had been stressful and I was so frazzled).  We then went to class to listen to the last of the student presentations, which was also the last meeting of this course!  Following that class we had med/surge lecture, which was about three hours and pretty uneventful.  I was thinking about my phone situation and wondering what I was going to do.  While in class, I take notes on my laptop, so I have access to my email if needed.  I also check Facebook on breaks.  Now, about five or six hours into no phone, I was realizing the sad truth.  I am addicted to my phone.  It was a harsh reality, but one I finally came to accept.  I was shopping around online to see how to get the best deal on a new phone.  We were up for our two year upgrade, so that was a plus.  I was under the (wrong) impression we could go in and get a free iPhone 5c.  I told Erin and we planned to go to the store when I got home.  Our lecture in med surge ran over by a half an hour so I was late getting home.  We quickly ran to the store to discover, no we cannot get free phones, that deal is only for brand new customers.  Too bad being loyal to the company for 10+ years doesn't get you such great deals.  I cannot be so spontaneous and just buy a phone (for $100) on the spot, so I convinced Erin to let me think it over for a night.  So we get home, I still have no phone, and still have this huge care plan to finish and it is now eight!  I have to be up by five am to catch the train to clinical.  I was beginning to panic, but thankfully I had a good chunk of the care plan done.  So I sit down, and search for the saved file.  It. Was. Nowhere. To. Be. Found.  Commence complete panic attack and mental breakdown.  I didn't know what to do.  This was one of my worst nightmares coming true!  I also knew, even if I stayed up all night to finish this it wouldn't happen before I had to be at clinical by 6:45am.  I lost it...poor Erin had to deal with my insanity yet again.  I quickly emailed a classmate for my instructor's phone number and called her to explain what my situation was.  She told me to go to bed at some point, otherwise I would be useless in clinical.  I could turn in what I could finish tonight, then after clinical, go home and finish the rest and send it via email.  Deep breath, I could make this work.  I didn't want to, but I knew I had to.  I downloaded the template, the 16+ page template I had to fill in with all of my patient info.  I was starting over and I hated every second of it.  I wanted to scream, throw my computer and just quit.  Obviously, I didn't and just started at the beginning.  About an hour into the new care plan, I went to save the file to my clinical folder in my computer.  As I was typing the document name, a drop down box appeared and my first care plan (the missing file) appeared.  I quickly saved what I had done and went back to open a file and typed in the first file's name and there it was!!  Well, most of it, I did lose some of my work, but a good chunk was there.  It was in some random temporary folder (that I cannot find to this day).  I had done a full search of my computer and it never appeared.  Long story, somewhat short, I finished my care plan at 12:45am, and was in bed by 1am.  I was pretty hyped up, and again realized how addicted I am to my phone.  I usually will check email, play a game, or look on Facebook and Instagram before I fall asleep.  That night, since I was so stressed, and I didn't have my phone, I started counting backwards from 100...I did that twice and eventually fell asleep.  Erin and I were both rudely awoken by my old school alarm clock at 5am!  I was exhausted, but adrenalin got me right up! 

I caught the train at six am and had a full clinical day.  I also proudly turned in my 17 page care plan and never want to look at that thing again!  While in clinical (when I reached for my pocket to gram my phone that wasn't there to look up a medication...about three times throughout the day) I again had the realization how dependent I am on my phone.  I rationalized both addiction and just good sense when it came to my phone.  For example, I do not NEED to know what people are posting on Facebook and Instagram during the day, I am just curious.  I do not NEED to play words with friends, but I enjoy it. I didn't HAVE to use my friend's phone to text Erin to tell her what train I was on, but it sure made the rest of the evening run smoothly.  I also missed checking in with my Erin during the day.  But, Tuesday, when Erin had already left for work hours earlier,(here come my "good sense" idea) and I was heading out to my car I had the fleeting thought, what if my car doesn't start?  I would be screwed! We have no land line phone, and the neighbors I do know were all at work.  Also, walking to the train in the dark at 5:55am, what if I was mugged, I couldn't call 911!  These are the crazy (or not so crazy) thoughts that run through my head. 
After clinical (and when Erin came to pick me up at the train station right on time because I had used my friend's phone to text her!) we went to get new phones.  Merry Christmas to us!  (Thank you Erin, you are beyond wonderful to me!!) So, I am back from my momentary disconnect and love my new, faster phone.   Wednesday was drastically better than Tuesday, despite being so tired.  After Erin and I got new phones, we met some friends for a late dinner which was a great way to end a long day.

Thursday, I was up without my alarm at 7am, go figure.  I spent the morning reading slides and doing a required practice test for my med surge class.  Thursday was our last med surge lecture!!!  Now, we just have an exam this coming Tuesday and then our cumulative (psych and med surge) final exam the following Tuesday.  I have a good amount of studying ahead of me.  Today, the school held a test review session, which I actually found pretty helpful.  Erin and I are just relaxing and catching up this evening, which has been wonderful.  Here's to a relaxing and low key weekend!  Only two more weeks of this semester :)