I am trying to come down from the extreme anxiety pharmacology and those exams cause me. Last night, after I took the exam, I came home, made a quick dinner for Erin and I, and we watched a show. I was winding down, realizing my grade probably won't be posted for a few days. Then, my good friend from school starts messaging me about all the questions she wasn't sure about and how she was looking them up and thinking she had more wrong than she originally thought. This sent my stress and anxiety level right through the roof! She is my go to person for questions, aka a smarty pants! I know I get a few wrong, but it is impossible to remember all the questions and what I answered. Needless to say, my stress level shot right back up!
So now I sit, this cold and rainy Wednesday morning. Typically I am in clinical on Wednesdays, about two hours into my shift by this time (8:30am) but today, I am in my pjs, next to my snoozin' pup googling recipes! I wish I could say my stress level was at a 0, but no such luck. We have yet to receive our grades for pharm exam #2. My stomach has been a mess these last few days. I am 99% sure it is all stress related. I am trying to take deep breaths and relax. I SHOULD workout as this is usually helpful, but lack all motivation at this point. I am more interested in baking Thanksgiving goodies!! I also have a few projects due for school next week. A short paper I should have done weeks ago, but I put it off, per usual. It's a two page paper on cultural care and should be interesting. I also have a huge care plan to do for clinical. That I am dreading just because it will be long and tedious. Deep breaths.
We had some more sad news in my family. My beloved great aunt, Sister (she was a nun) passed away. She was 89 years young and we now picture her surrounded by her family, surely playing a mean game of poker. I have such wonderful memories of my aunt (who we all called Sister or "the nun"). The college I attended was connected to where Sister lived. I was a frequent visitor to the nuns dining hall as they had way better food. Sister always sent me home with as much food/snacks as I could carry. She was also always encouraging me to bring friends to dinner with us. Sister was wonderful. She was a spitfire and one of the most loving and generous people I have ever known. I often joke with my mom that Sister was a preview of her in 30 years. They have very similar dispositions, demeanor and are all around wonderful people. My poor mom is very sad, but glad that Sister isn't suffering. Sister was one of nine children. Times like this make me sad that I live so far away from my family. I briefly looked into flights home, but being the busiest travel weekend of the year, the prices were unreal. With a lab day this coming Monday, it is impossible for me to go home to attend her funeral. I believe my brother is going, which I am glad, for my mom's sake. I know I have someone else looking out for me now.
I am sure my unsettled stomach is due to stress and sadness. This too shall pass.
I am off to pick my favorite recipes for pumpkin cheesecake, apple spice cookies, spiced nuts, pumpkin bread and maybe a few new ones for our family Thanksgiving tomorrow! We will be spending this holiday with my wonderful wife's family. My sister is staying local and joining us (and making her AMAZING mac and cheese). She will be heading over this evening so she can get up early to bake.
Happy Thanksgiving! Remember to stay home and out of stores on Thanksgiving Day! Shop on Friday and support Small Business Saturday!!! I will be thinking of my mom and all the other poor employees that are stuck leaving their family to go in to work. It is out of control!!
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